Gentle men’S club
These men from various walks of life have one thing in common — all were accused of domestic violence and were subsequently acquitted. Now, they’ve formed a group that advises other men how to fight the charge
Posted On Monday, September 19, 2011 at 05:22:05 AM
They are doctors, lawyers, IT professionals. They are demanding a ministry for men’s welfare on the lines of those for women & child development and environment and forests. They are men with standing in society who have lost in love and landed in court after being accused of domestic violence under IPC section 498, pertaining to domestic violence.
It’s the gentle men’s club
Now acquitted of the domestic violence charge, 25 of them have come together to form the city’s first Men’s Rights Association, thanks to the initiative taken by software engineer Atit Rajpara. The Association now advises other men fighting domestic violence charges with tips and tricks to come through unscathed.
The 32-year-old says he has just been to hell and back, thanks to his wife. Speaking to Mirror, he said, “We had opted for a test tube baby, but my wife filed a case of domestic violence against me, demanding custody of the yet-unborn child. I was arrested and humiliated by the Gujarat police and then by Pune police because of this false complaint. She then demanded maintenance of Rs 50 lakh claiming that I hold property worth Rs 1.5 crore. I stay in a rented house.”
Rajpara, a Magarpatta City resident, added: “However, she could not prove any of the allegations in court. I was acquitted, but it took seven years. I lost my mental balance, almost lost my job. Now, afraid of getting trapped in her own cases, she is withdrawing them one by one.”
He also demands to know if it is equality of gender when a mere complaint by a money-minded spouse lands an entire family in jail for several days, and that too without any evidence. “It was just a simple complaint, but such a spouse can ruin one’s life, he said.
Yerwada resident Kailas Khairnar, employed with Tata Communications, has a similar story to tell. The 42-year-old said his wife of 13 years, a techie with a reputed company, was earning four times his salary.
“In August 2009, I caught my wife while she was busy chatting with her ex-boyfriend on her laptop. She admitted she had been having an affair since her college days. I was somehow trying to cope with the shock. But my wife, fearing exposure, filed a complaint under Section 498(A) of the Domestic Violence Act along with sections pertaining to harassment and torture. She also claimed my flat showing she has no income. I was arrested along with my mother. My sister was also arrested with her husband. I lost my job. I was forced to leave Pune and had to shift to Mumbai,” Khairnar said.
He added: “However, in court, my wife could not prove her lack of source of income. I proved in court that she had had an affair before marriage. Fearing trouble, she withdrew her case. She stopped attending hearings of other criminal cases filed by her against me. The court ruled in my favour. I joined this group to share my experience with others. I lost important years of my career and the happiness of family life. I do not want that any other should suffer like this.”
Another victim from Pune, working with MSEDCL, said, “Despite knowing the fact that she could not conceive, my in-laws forced me to stay with her. I have been living in a veritable hell since 12 years and struggling to escape. She changed her medical reports to prove me wrong before the court. The court also rapped me for harassing my wife. But a second medical opinion proved that I was right. The court acquitted me but she is still filing cases in three different courts with the same complaint. I have been thinking of committing suicide and am hoping for guidance from this association.”
• To break the myth of the male-dominated society
• Learn tactics and tricks to fight social mindset that assumes men to be born criminals
• Legal guidance for men to fight matrimonial disputes and false accusations
• Lowering suicide rate among men
• Forming a Men’s Welfare ministry as men contribute 82 per cent of taxes
• Fight for fathers’ rights like winning child custody and living life with dignity
MRA claims that men are more victimised than women when it comes to domestic violence. As per the National Crime Records Bureau’s (NCRB) 2009 report, every year, 58,000 married men in India are committing suicide. It means every nine minutes, a man commits suicide. In comparison, some 28,000 married women commit suicide every year, or a woman every 19 minutes
► We had opted for a test tube baby, but my wife filed a case of domestic violence against me, demanding custody of the yet-unborn child. I was arrested and humiliated
– Atit Rajpara , founder, MRA
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