Archive for the ‘IMD’ Category

Have Law Makers Failed to SAVE FAMILY??????

October 26, 2012 Leave a comment

FAMILY Court lawyers and counselors who see the break-up of every kind of human relationship, say that relationships between human beings are a complex phenomenon beyond the ken of logic. Not surprisingly, even the best legal minds in the country have been able to barely give a meaning to the word ‘family’, but no legal status. “The family, believe it or not, has no legal persona,” says the energetic Supreme Court Lawyer Mr. Mahesh Tiwari , who is Legal Advisor of Save Family Foundation , Delhi( SFF), an Foundation which works to save the family as a social institution and associate with the movement “Save Indian Family ( SIF)”,

“Thus, the inherent conflict between the individual rights of a member and the collective rights of the family is apparent in every litigation in the Family Court.

Strangely, though a major objective of the Family Court Act of 1984 is the preservation of the family as the foundation of society, it offers relief in every case by determining the rights and liabilities of individuals in biased way towards wives only and treated the Husband as a Free ATM machine only, rather than of the family.

The gray areas between the rights of the individuals and the welfare of the family become the battleground for concerned parties, due to one sided biased law like 498A,DV act , Child custody LAW, maintenance and alimony LAW under IPC125, who feel that matrimonial laws should be amended to suit right women or men, instead of pitting the two sexes against one another.

“The Family Court is a theater of unimaginable conflicts. The usual issues behind these conflicts are: feminists vs. anti-feminists; individuals vs. society and the legal system vs. the right to privacy of an individual. The Family Court Act of 1984 was passed by the Central Government because of the pressure built up by various non-governmental organizations, which unanimously felt that matrimonial and family law cases were suffering from long delays in the civil courts. Special courts were required for quick disposal of such cases so that the parties to a divorce or separation could go on with their lives and redesign their destinies. The Act encouraged and empowered various state governments to set up Family Courts in all cities with a population of over one million people.

“The first state to set up a Family Court was Rajasthan. Maharashtra followed in 1989. Today, Family Courts function in nearly 60 cities of India. Their objectives, according to the Act, include the preservation of the family as an institution, speedy disposal of cases and a re-conciliatory approach while handling human relationships. Hence, the Court is obliged to provide the services of counselors for couples seeking a separation of divorce.” But the biased criminal Act like 498A, DV act and IPC 125 totally destroyed the basic aim of the family court’s function.

The work of the Family Court invariably centers on the rights of a wife only, irrespective she is right or wrong. This is assumption that marriage or its break-up seriously affects her status and property rights, as their own parents also refuse them to give any property right in spite of the well settle LAW of this country.

Factors such as religion, community, custom, tradition or family views determine or affect her rights. Though a court or law itself can determine the legal view, it is very difficult — almost impossible — to change the mindset of people who have lived according to the tenets of a conception that a women can never lie or never break the family for her selfish motive, which is totally wrong in 21 st century.

For example, according to the 1974 Maintenance Laws, Rs 500 per month was the standard allowance for a divorced or separated wife. Rs 750 per month was allotted to each child. In 2000, this was changed to Rs 1,500 per month and in 2002, the upper limit of maintenance was totally removed. Result, money and property matters are so fluid and amenable manipulation in the court, that many wives, well educated and earning, prefers to show in the court they are not working, in spite of capable to do so.

Most of the divorce cases, which come to Family Courts, are based on three major reasons: Cruelty, desertion for two years or more and adultery. Of these, adultery is extremely difficult to prove. Cruelty, too, has to have a physical manifestation to be admissible as evidence in court.

Therefore, desertion remains the most common cause apart from mutual consent, where the two parties have an agreement on the terms and conditions of their separation.

But LAW like 498A , DV act and IPC 125 biased towards wives , change the whole equation and result a long litigation for both.

Social researchers regret however, that though Family Courts have been in existence for over a decade, there are no records, statistics of figures, which can point in the direction of the future of the family as the basic unit of society. Several NGOs continue to fight for the creation of a fact-and-figures bank, which could be a barometer of the health of the family in Indian society. They believe that family courts were created in the first place because of their relentless efforts, but failed to make any study about the Husband’s health of conditions, result we witness more and more married men are ending their life, in 2011 as per Crime bure, 62000 more men had end their life compared to 30000 married women.

“There are media reports that the number of divorces in Indian cities — specially in Mumbai and Delhi — is increasing by leaps and bounds,” but some famous women activists are arguing that it is the women’s right and women empowerment, result child’s are force to live under a “Father less Society” and the husband treated as a “Free ATM machine” only.

However, women wanting a larger slice of life today are a major reason for marital break-ups. They are aware of their rights and tolerate less injustice.Parents of women also support the break-up when they see the benefit they will get in terms of money and sympathy form the society.

Further, there is hardly any stigma attached to the word divorce today. We had witness, a lot of women remarried not twice , even trice also , as a example take case of Noida ,telecasted in Star News , a women married 3 times in 3 years span and fighting the third divorce case . This is not a mare exceptional case , like that a number of cases are going on in the court.

Even elders believe in the right of a woman to have a worthwhile life rather than rot in a no-win relationship. More and more families show that even one caring person can do the job of rearing a balanced, healthy child. The definition of a family is changing fast.

“Also, marriages now break at any age. People decide to separate after a few months of marriage or when they are older. And more women seek counseling or dissolution of a marriage because there are more support systems available to them rather than the husband alone. Women can choose to experience motherhood through adoption (Sushmita Sen) or through relationships with their beloveds without marriage (Neena Gupta, Sanjana Kapoor and many others). In the foreseeable future, they may become mothers through assisted reproductive technologies too.”

It is natural that marriages and love relationships in celebrity-land are under more stress than others. Here, one partner may be successful beyond imagination and the other may be required to play the second-fiddle eternally.

A husband may be far more successful or popular and hi-profile compared to the wife or lover. The family or a wife may not ‘approve’ of the attitude of a husband who sets goals for himself and follows them single-minded. In most hyped-up industries, celebrities work constantly with equally attractive members of the opposite sex. Attractions happen and marital or loyalty vows are broken more easily than is common. Celebrity break-ups become worse when they attract publicity, leaving no room for privacy. Success, the need to hang on at the top and money — as well as personal grooming and fitness — are top priorities in most celebrity lives today. There is no time or patience of the spouse, children or other relatives.

As one prominent actress says, “People don’t change. Circumstances change and force the person to go with the tide of time.”

So at the end the question remained unanswered Are LAW Maker failed to save family?

A men established himself as Best Son , great Brother, but why he had termed as Criminal when it comes to as a role of Husband, why? Does to be a best son or great Brother is crime in India for a man?

If the answer is No, are they ready to review the whole marriage related LAW towards “Save family” or it is their hidden agenda to convert this country to a “Father less society” by killing the institution of marriage in India?

Join SIF Team to Stop this legal terrorism of India and demand to replace the word Husband/wife to Spouse to all marriage related LAW or policy like all over world follow instead of making assumption that all wives born in Raja Harish Chandra family ( never lie) and all husbands born in Criminal family.

(Crime Is Crime. Punishment should be irrespective of gender, religion and caste. Let us be honest and fight for truth)

Categories: IMD, IrBM, MRA Tags:

Why INDIAN men suffer?

September 21, 2012 Leave a comment

More often than not this question has perturbed my mind and ever since I got involved in men’s rights activism, fighting for men’s rights, creating awareness about men’s issues and problems and interacted with abused and victimized men, my understanding of the answer to the above question has improved tremendously and today I am going to write about the same in this article.

Before we delve into the reasons as to why men suffer, it is pertinent to talk about “How Men Suffer?

It is important to understand how men suffer because the current social understanding about suffering of men is largely undercover. In fact, even after 8 years since the establishment of the men’s rights movement in India and after umpteen presences in the media, by and large, the society is still oblivious to the problems that are faced by men. Even, if sometimes people are aware that the man is suffering, they have nothing to offer to the man. And this is again a reflection of poor understanding of the male psyche and male emotions.

Some of the common forms of abuse of men are,

  1. Forced to earn manhood: Boys are taught to be ruthless and cruel to other men, view them as competitors but have a soft corner for women. Even our social constructs are so designed that a man must earn his manhood while a woman gets her womanhood by default because of her gender. That’s the reason we see dialogues like “Respect me because I am a woman”, “You are not a man if…….”, “You are not a man unless you……”, “Be a man”, “Take it like a man” etc.
  2. Conditioned to be inferior: Boys are socially conditioned to believe that in general the male gender is inferior to women and that a man’s life is incomplete without a woman. They are conditioned to believe that it is OK to demean their own gender; in fact they are made to feel proud about that.
  3. Made to suppress: Boys are encouraged to suppress their emotions/pains/sufferings and as they grow up, the language that takes shape in their minds is – “It is unmanly for me to complain”.
  4. Economic abuse: This is the most common form of abuse that men are subjected to. It’s been a social tradition to expect men to earn money through hard-work and then others should enjoy it. In fact, men who spend their own hard money for themselves are ridiculed and those who spend it for their family are hailed even though the family is abusive towards the man. Every new anti-male law that is proposed is based on the premise that it is the right of the woman on the man’s money.
  5. Emotional abuse: Men face a lot of emotional abuse which often goes unnoticed because of the high expectations from the society and the emotional suppression that they face since childhood.
  6. Abuse in Marriages: Marriages are tumultuous for men. Every year close to double the number of men commit suicides due to abusive and married men top the list of suicides.
  7. Legal Abuse: The legal system is highly anti-male. There are more than 15 anti-male, inhuman and unconstitutional gender biased laws which openly flout principles of natural justice and many more are coming in pipeline. Also, the legal system is immune and insensitive to the abuse of a man who is victimized and has nothing more than lip service to offer to them.
  8. Social Abuse: Men face social bias. All a man needs to invoke hatred against him is to have a woman complain against him and it does not matter how much bizarre, absurd or illogical the allegations are; social hatred against men (misandry) will ensure that the life of the man is ruined. And such deep is the misandry that even if the man comes out clean; there is no will in the society to punish the liar woman so as to deter other women from repeating the same offense. In fact, abuse of men by society is like a social service.
  9. Workplace Bias: Men face bias at workplace as well. Mostly men find it very difficult to get promoted and need to struggle a lot for the same. Most companies hire more women under initiatives like “Diversity” and mostly even if men are as competent as women, they lose out on the job due to such initiatives.
  10. Cultural Bias: Abuse of men is not a new fashion; it’s a chronic social disease. Men have always been forced to play violent roles by cultures and societies by participating in wars, taking risks, losing their life and limbs and donning the role of a protector. And this very role of protector goes against men which takes away the right from them to fight for their own selves.

This is just a tip of the iceberg about the various problems which men have been suffering from and are either unaddressed or unrecognized. However, let us now see as to why men suffer so much?

Men suffer because of the following reasons:

  1. They don’t share their problems: Men feel it is unmanly for them to share their problems and fearing social backlash and ridicule, they suffer silently.
  2. They share their successes more often than their failures: Men are made to feel unmanly when they share their failures with dialogues such as “Dude, you could have handled this much”. Due to this reason and the first one, the problems of the male world rarely surface. All that surfaces is their successes all over which makes the society feel as if it is OK to snatch from men. But, as it is said, “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence”, same is with the problems and struggles faced by a man. Merely because men are silent, does not mean they are good to go. It’s just that they are resilient enough to deal with the abuse heaped upon them.
  3. The Protector Role of men: Even if they are being attacked from all sides they won’t forego their “protector” role. Even after getting abused by the very society, men find in themselves a fetish to protect culture, protect society, protect country and such high and lofty objectives do not allow them to take up cudgels against the injustice they themselves are being subjected to.
  4. Logic of Men: Men are extremely logical and analytical in their approach and thus often they fail to comprehend emotional turbulences and end up getting bruised emotionally. Men have great respect for systems, hierarchies, rules and laws. That is the reason, they somehow think that anti-male laws are fine and they would never be trapped if they don’t do anything wrong and even if that happens, they would use logic to prove their innocence.
  5. Internal Misandry: This is the biggest reason why men suffer. Internally men hate each other and have a lot of disrespect for each other. They judge each other a lot and are too quick and active in jumping into action to punish a man against whom a woman complains. That is the reason, even after being victimized, most men do not challenge anti-male social attitudes and anti-male laws because internally they somehow feel, these laws are justified, it’s just that, for them, the anti-male laws should not be “misused”.

The solution to end the suffering of men is very simple. It just depends on certain choices that men need to make.

  1. Men must stop disrespecting and hating other men.
  2. Men must challenge all such social constructs which force them to earn manhood or suffer abuse because it is considered unmanly to raise voice against it.
  3. Men must not view other men as competitors in order to get sex.
  4. Men must challenge all forms of anti-male attitudes, laws and media content.
  5. Men must understand the importance of “men’s rights”.

Men’s suffering will end if they make the above choices and choice to make these choices also belies with them.



Categories: IMD, IrBM, MRA

Marriage law favours fairer sex! Men’s right is left alone- DNA

April 10, 2012 1 comment
Lack of gender equal law is forcing married men to commit suicide. Activists feel anti-men laws are
being misused by women and men become victims.
Speak Up explores
Speak Up

How can the court consider a wife’s allegation true without evidence?
There is no provision under the law for men to defend themselves if they are accused of any crime against women. There are so many anti-men laws under the Domestic Violence Act, 2005. The husband and his family are guilty till they prove their innocence. The IPC- 498A section under the Dowry Act, 1961, is one such draconian law. If a terrorist like Ajmal Kasab is considered innocent till he is not proven guilty in the court of law, why can’t men who are accused by women be treated in the same way till all the evidence is not presented? How can the court consider a wife’s allegation true till proper investigation does not take place? Just based on an FIR filed by a woman, a husband and his family can be arrested. The entire burden is shifted on the accused and the court supports women without looking at the facts.
Rajesh Vakharia, Founder Member, Save India Family

If women misuse the law then courts can take severe action

The law has to protect women’s rights and you cannot have a gender equal law. So much gender disparity and discrimination exists in our society. We have to take into consideration who has suffered the most. Where women are deprived and are at disadvantage in this men dominated society, there is a need to protect their rights. With reservation for women, we can achieve substantial gender equality. If women misuse the law then the courts can take action against them. In case of a child’s custody in a divorce case, the child needs a mother’s care and the court takes that into consideration.
Ramesh Awasti, Co-founder, MASUM

When domestic violence arises, couples should consult a counsellor. There is reason as to why the law supports women. This is because since ages the fairer sex has suffered and still faces the brunt, except that the situation is some what better now. Ours is still a male dominant society and women get exploited. They need the support of the law till gender inequality exists in our society. Surely the equations are changing and men have to prove their innocence which is becoming very uncomfortable for them. I feel that when domestic violence arises, couples should consult a counsellor before approaching the court for divorce.
Parul Khona, marriage counsellor

The attitude adopted by courts towards women weighs high against men
The law should be balanced. Men too have emotions but cannot express themselves like women do. For men, family is most important of all. If there are troubles in the family, he reaches a high level of frustration and may end his life. Even long judicial procedure and concerned attitude towards women adopted by the courts weighs against men.
Balasaheb Patil, president, Purush Bachao Hakka Samiti

If wife asks for divorce then the husband has to pay her alimony for lifetime
The suicide rate among married men is increasing, especially since 1995, which is when the Anti-Dowry Act came into existence. The laws that were introduced to support women in order to bring gender equality by the government are being misused. The government must seriously look into this matter. Whenever women file cases against men, they become culprits by default, which is a biased outlook. Under the law, if a man gets married to a woman, he has to take care of all her needs for the rest of her life. If wife asks for a divorce then the husband has to pay her alimony for a lifetime whether they are married for just one day or two years. I am surprised that we have a women welfare ministry but there is no such provision for men.
Atit Rajpara, President, Men’s Rights Association





Categories: IMD, NCRB, News

Rocked by rocky marriages, men cutting their lives short-DNA Pune

A 29-year-old man, who committed suicide by jumping from the ninth floor of Bharti Bazar building on Thursday over a “failed” marriage, is not a one-off case of men ending their lives over tricky marital issues.
Data available with National Crime Research Bureau (NCRB) shows that the suicidal tendencies due to alleged harassment by spouses and in-laws has been increasing among married men since 1995. While 35,245 men ended their lives in 1995, the number went up to 61,453 by 2010.

Enlarge Image
As against this, the number of married women who committed suicide in 1995 was 35,245. In 2010 it came down to 31,300. The NCRB report, Crimes In India 2010, says that most of these suicides were due to domestic violence.
The report said that family problems and illness were the major causes for suicides as they accounted for 23.7% and 21.1% deaths respectively.
According to the report, suspected or known illicit relations resulted in 1,264 suicides in 2008, 1,180 in 2009 and 1,336 in 2010. Cancellation and no settlement of marriages resulted in 949 suicides in 2008, 1,003 in 2009 and 1027 in 2010.
The report pointed out that impotency and childlessness resulted in 743 men ending their lives in 2008, 680 in 2009 and 666 in 2010, whereas dowry disputes resulted in 3,038 suicides in 2008, 2,921 in 2009 and 3,093 in 2010. Most of them could not swallow the bitter pill of divorce which led to 410 suicides in 2008, 331 in 2009 and 290 in 2010.

Family problems accounted for in 29,777 lived in 2008, 30,082 in 2009 and 31,856 in 2010. Failure in love was one of the major reasons for taking the extreme step as it cost 3,774 lives in 2008, 3,711 in 2009 and 4,166 in 2010.
The report says that analysis of suicides in India showed that Maharashtra, with 6,057 suicides in 2010 (38.1% of the suicides in the country), stood at third rank. Kerala topped with 41.6%, followed by Puducherry at 38.8%, Tamil Nadu 35%, Tripura 33.9%, Chandigarh 33.8%, Uttarakhand 28.8%, Punjab with 28.2% and Manipur with 24.3%.
l Related report, p3

Categories: IMD, NCRB, News Tags: , ,

Youth most vulnerable to suicide: Report TOI

January 2, 2012 Leave a comment

Pune:The fairer sex has proved to be stronger as well. The report compiled by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) titled – ‘Accidental Deaths and Suicides in India’, says that 431 men in Pune committed suicide in 2010 as against 215 women. The trend has been noticed across the country.
The report, which is the only document in India that provides statistics about suicides, said that social and economic causes have driven most men to commit suicide whereas emotional and personal causes were the reasons among women.
Overall, the number of suicides in the city has seen a fractional drop in 2010. Pune recorded 646 cases in 2010 at the rate of 17.2 per one lakh population. In 2005 it was 13.5; 14.1 in 2006; 15.5 in 2007; 16.3 in 2008 and 17.3 in 2009.
Most alarming was the high rate in the 15-29 age group (40.2%). Bobby Zachariah, chief executive officer of ‘Connecting’, an NGO that works towards prevention of suicides, said, “Academic pressures from teachers as well as parents, love affairs and depression are some of the common causes for people in this age group to end their lives.”
Zachariah expressed concern at depression emerging as one of the major causes. “People give up when they don’t get what they desire in life, leading to depression and the extreme step. Also relationship issues, including kids who are unable to meet parents’ expectations, are some of the causes for the high percentage of suicides in this age group.”
If marital status is a yardstick to gauge the trend, more married individuals (72.1%) committed suicide as against unmarried, widowed, divorcees and separated men and women. Profile-wise, more number of housewives took the extreme step.
“Usually, when youth experience little or no control in the important events of their lives, they may see themselves negatively. “I am worthless. I’m no good.” This negative thinking makes it difficult for youth to face the stresses in their lives, and this combined with poor problem-solving skills can lead to feelings of depression and hopelessness,” thinks Rajeev Yeravdekar, dean faculty of health sciences at Symbiosis International University.
Alka Pawar, director of Maharashtra Institute of Mental Health, said, “Lack of communication in some families makes it difficult for the suicidal person to state his or her needs openly to others. And adolescents believe there is no one who can understand them. This often creates a sense of intense aloneness and isolation as they face problems.”
“Besides in cities, trivial happenings, peer-pressure to perform, lower levels of tolerance, psychological problems arising out of daily living are reasons. How to cope with a difficult situation is no longer part of grooming. It is not happening through observational learning in the family, parents have become over protective of their wards and there is not enough bonding between parents and teachers. There are too many expectations. Very few people talk at home if there is a problem,” Pawar said.

Categories: IMD, News

For Lot of MEN, “I Do” means ” I Die”—–DNA

December 20, 2011 Leave a comment
Categories: IMD, News

पुण्यात दररोज एक पुरुष करतोय आत्महत्या-Lokmat-Hello Pune

November 28, 2011 Leave a comment


महिलांपेक्षा पुरुषांचा टक्का दुपटीहून अधिक
१0 वर्षांत साडेपाच हजार जणांनी केली आत्महत्या

१८ ते ३0 वयोगटातील पुरुष शारीरिक बळावर आपल्यावरील ताण सहन करू शकतो. पुढे ही शारीरिक ताकद कमी होते. कुटुंबाचा कर्ता म्हणून आपल्याकडे अजूनही पुरुषांकडेच पाहिले जात असल्याने ३0 ते ५0 या वयात हे ताणतणाव पुरुष पेलू शकत नसल्याने आत्महत्येचे प्रमाण जास्त असते.
-आरती पेंडसे
मानसोपचारतज्ज्ञ पुणे। दि. २७ (प्रतिनिधी)
पुरुषप्रधान संस्कृतीत आपल्याकडे विविध पातळय़ांवर होणार्‍या जाचामुळे महिलांचे आत्महत्या करण्याचे प्रमाण अधिक असल्याचे मानले जाते. पण आत्महत्या करण्यामध्ये महिलांच्या दुपटीहून अधिक पुरुष आत्महत्या करीत असल्याचे दिसून येत आहे. पुणे शहरात गेल्या १0 वर्षांत ५५४८ जणांनी वेगवेगळ्या कारणांनी आत्महत्या केली. त्यात तब्बल ३८५१ पुरुषांचा समावेश असून, १६९५ महिलांनी आत्महत्या केली. पुण्यात दररोज किमान एक पुरुष आत्महत्या करीत असल्याचे समोर आले आहे.
पुणे पोलीस आयुक्तालयाच्या हद्दीत गेल्या वर्षी ६४६ जणांनी आत्महत्या केल्या होत्या. त्यात ४३२ पुरुष व २१५ महिलांचा समावेश आहे. त्यात सर्वाधिक ४५८ जणांनी गळफास घेऊन आत्महत्या केल्याचे आढळून आले. याशिवाय रेल्वेखाली उडी मारून आत्महत्या करणार्‍यांचे प्रमाणही अधिक आहे. मात्र, त्यांची माहिती यात समाविष्ट करण्यात आलेली नाही. आत्महत्या करणार्‍या पुरुषांमधील वयोगट पाहिल्यास ३0 ते ५0 वर्षांदरम्यान जास्त प्रमाण, तर या उलट महिलांमध्ये १८ ते ३0 वयोगटात जास्त आढळून आले आहे. पुरुषाकडे कर्ता पुरुष म्हणून पाहिले जाते. कुटुंबाचे पालनपोषण करण्याची जबाबदारी आपली आहे, अशी भावना त्या पुरुषाची व समाजाची असते. बेकारीमुळे आत्महत्या करणार्‍यांचे प्रमाणही जास्त आहे. मात्र, बेकारीमुळे महिलांनी आत्महत्या केल्याचे एखादेच उदाहरण आहे. या आत्महत्यांच्या कारणांमध्ये पती-पत्नींमधील भांडणे, गरिबी, प्रेमप्रकरण आणि नापास झाल्यामुळे आत्महत्या करणार्‍यांचे प्रमाण अधिक आहे. माहिती अधिकार कार्यकर्ते विहार दुर्वे यांनी मागितलेल्या माहितीतून हे वास्तव समोर आले आहे. वर्ष पुरुष स्त्रिया एकूण
२00१ ३३७ १४७ ४८४
२00२ ३४४ १५२ ४९६
२00३ ३६१ १४६ ५0७
२00४ ४00 १५0 ५५0
२00५ ३४५ १६१ ५0६
२00६ ३८२ १४७ ५२९
२00७ ४१२ १६९ ५८१
२00८ ४0६ १९५ ६0१
२00९ ४३५ २१३ ६४८
२0१0 ४३१ २१५ ६४६
एकूण ३८५३ १६९५ ५५४८ १८ ते ३0 वयोगटातील पुरुष शारीरिक बळावर आपल्यावरील ताण सहन करू शकतो. पुढे ही शारीरिक ताकद कमी होते. कुटुंबाचा कर्ता म्हणून आपल्याकडे अजूनही पुरुषांकडेच पाहिले जात असल्याने ३0 ते ५0 या वयात हे ताणतणाव पुरुष पेलू शकत नसल्याने आत्महत्येचे प्रमाण जास्त असते.
-आरती पेंडसे

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